That silence you hear is the sound of no one laughing.
Max ( Isaach De Bankolé), a blind warlock selling enchanted insects It’s not illegal to sell mind-altering bugs. Personally, I’d never wear a brandĠ:25:14 Kaulder and Dolan #37 must hunt the witches who killed Dolan #36 and nicked his fancy pen. Or maybe I’m just busy remembering him from Sin City.Ġ:19:14 To demonstrate his new role, Father Dolan #37 gets a cross burned into his arm for his pains. Is that a toilet, or is Vin making another film?Ġ:14:28 In a world where learning doesn’t equal caring, we learn Father Dolan is retiring.Ġ:16:57 Dolan #37 is Elijah Wood and I suspect he will turn out to be evil. Leave it to Vin to have an affair with Beethoven… Paul Walker must be rolling in his grave. “Ok, I’m drunk enough to make this bloody film now.”Ġ:13:22 Before speaking, Father Dolan must wait for Kaulder to finish the flight attendant he met on the flight ( Inbar Lavi as Sonia).Īre you reminiscing about the Ludwig affair?įather Dolan asks because Kaulder is listening to Beethoven If she were a real witch, she wouldn’t need a plane to fly.Ġ:12:58 Dolan #36 ( Michael Caine,who is in this film because, like a tyke who eats boogers for change, he’ll do anything for a few quid) explains that witches are allowed to live amongst us if they don’t use their powers against humans. As she dies, she curses him with eternal life (and probably bad acting).Ġ:11:48 In modern days, Kaulder (a now bald Vin Diesel) prevents a plane crash by confiscating a young witch’s ( Bex Taylor-Klaus (from Scream: The TV Series )) runes that are creating a terrible storm. The wood witch is playing with fireĠ:07:52 Kaulder (pronounced like the opposite of ‘hotter’: Vin Diesel in a wig) kills a scabby witch ( Julie Engelbrecht) beneath a tree with a light sabre-like flaming sword. She will never truly perish until her heart beats its last.īeware of stating the blooming obvious, you mean. By the looks of some of them, the torches aren’t the only things that are flamers.īe warned, brothers. I’ve chosen to review this film because it’s like me: a low hanging fruit.Ġ:01:58 A group of slovenly blokes walks through an olden day snow-scape.
He thinks this is cold, he should read my review So read on only if you’ve already seen The Last Witch Hunter, or don’t plan to. I shall be delving into the dark art of The Last Witch Hunter, revealing its mysteries and exposing its magic to divine if it’s enchanting or cursed.
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